Sibling Relationships - Friend or Foe?

Sibling relationships provide opportunities to test social behaviors. These relationships are a way to learn how certain words and actions affect another person. The closeness of the family environment can intensify feelings and create conflicts.

Parents can manage sibling rivalry and help improve sibling relationships. The following are a few suggestions.

• Spend time with each child. This special time alone with each child won’t happen very often in today’s busy world unless this time is planned.
• Recognize and accept that each child is different. Uniqueness is a strength not a weakness. Differences enrich our lives.
• Praise children for being what they are, not for what they can do.
• Avoid initiating competition among siblings. Comparative remarks such as “highest grades” and “cleanest room” tend to create a negative feeling toward the parent, the child, and the child’s sibling.
• Don’t overemphasize sharing. Everyone needs to feel ownership of something. Children need to learn how to share, but they should also be given the privilege to decide whether to share some things.
• Be aware of the stereotypes and parental expectations, for example the “oldest child” and “the baby of the family.”
• Talk with your child about fighting. Help children understand why they fight and how to prevent it.
• Believe in the potential of sibling conflicts. Children learn how to get along with others from such conflicts.

Sibling rivalry and conflict are not pleasant experiences for parents. The above suggestions can make a difference, but developing social skills takes time. Managing sibling rivalry is not easy.

Fighting can become a habit and habits are not easily broken. The united efforts of parents and the giving of lots of love and concern, along with the above suggestions, can help children improve relationships with siblings.